So, if you have been following this blog at all, you have probably guessed that it is a huge experiment and exercise in… something… for me. Faith? Perseverance? Courage? I don’t know…
What I do know is that for the last two weeks I have been trying to make the blog fit my life and it has been resistant. I have been dealing with issues of trust and friendship and I wanted to write about those things, but they were too… personal… too…raw… too… private.
What I have discovered about blogging is that blogging people fit in to one of two categories (well… there are probably more categories, but I only think I want to talk about two…) There are the “I will tell you everything about me” bloggers and the “I have something I want to say, but I want to remain kind of private too…” bloggers. I am one of the latter.
I have things I want to talk about, but at the same time I don’t necessarily want everyone to know every little thing about me. There have been many times that I have actually wanted to completely unplug and just not have a presence online. But then I think about the blogs I read and I imagine that some of the folks I read regularly have felt the same way. Then they write, share and connect and it is all very beneficial to everyone.
Sometimes the fact that I have a blog and my own little “web space” kind of freaks me out. What am I thinking? What do I have to offer? Who do I think I am putting stuff out there for people to read? Well… the answer is, I’m just a guy who likes to talk and think and read and share. So it seems like writing for my little no-name blog is reasonable. Even if Brenda, Amy, Nancy, Renee, Apreil, and Luann are the only ones reading, it’s still worth while. The act of writing is… healthy, beneficial, cathartic.
I feel like a wanderer who has wandered far from home. This blog has proven itself both inspiring to me and lonely. I missed my Monday deadline for the first time this week. No one said anything. Initially I figured, what’s the point? Why bother? I soon remembered that when I started this blog, I am writing for me. I invited everyone else to come along and read, comment, or whatever.
I am back. I am not going to write about trust because I don’t really have anything to say about it now. I have issues trusting people, that’s it. It’s not because they are’;t worthy of trust, but because I am cynical and jaded for now. I suppose I could explore that a bit, but I don’t really want to. I just want to keep wandering and looking for the gems that appeal to me to consider here.
If you want to participate, I love hearing from you… if you just want to read and be silent, that’s fine too. I’m still here. I haven’t given up. I just needed to remember why I started doing this in the first place… It’s for the fun of writing and sharing.
On that note, if you have something you would like to write and share, let me know. I’d be glad to let you post here… It’s not a high pressure place… The people who are reading regularly are really quite wonderful. I’d love to have guests post if you have something to say…