Category Archives: Fear

Fear and Loathing?

Published / by Tim / 2 Comments on Fear and Loathing?

Sometimes I just want to jump off this merry-go-round. Through a series of events I found myself plunged into a funk. The whole idea of “living in the moment” is great, but I found out that it’s very difficult as well.

So, I’m a bible reader. If you’re interested, In Matthew 14, there’s a well-known bit where Jesus has been off praying and the disciples are out in a boat. Jesus gets done and goes walking out to the boat. The boys see him. Peter says, Hey! if that’s you, tell me to meet you out there! Jesus does. Peter jumps out of the boat and goes walking to Jesus. Peter then sees that what he is doing is pretty danged amazing and it’s getting windy. Peter starts to sink. He started thinking of what MIGHT happen, and forgot what WAS happening, he was walking on water!

NoFearI kind of relate to Peter. Peter was a big, tough guy. Peter was also fearful. Peter could live in the moment, but he also could get lost in his fear and really blow it. He messed up a lot. This week, I blew it, despite having some really good moments. Yes, It’s not that uncommon for me to mess up either.

i don’t really want to go into details, other than to say I let fear boggle me and mess things up. So the lesson I learned, when you have fear, feel it, recognize it, cast it aside and do the bold thing.

The bold thing might be giving someone a kind word. It might be giving someone a hug. It might be standing up for the innocent. It might be telling someone you love them. It could be walking away from an argument. It could be any number of things. I do know, if you choose the bold option, if you choose to live in the moment without fear, there is a lot more reward and a lot less headache and heartache.

Take courage. Be bold. Live in the moment.

Living in the moment…

Published / by Tim

Sometimes… I forget. There is right now and if I don’t look around and take it in, I miss it. I never get these moments back.

Right now I am sitting in my backyard. it’s 68 degrees. There are mosquitos here and there. I am listening to a pair of Mourning doves chatting about the day. There are other small birds flitting about looking for bugs and such to tide them over through the night. My neighbor is working on his motorcycle. I have to admit, the new pipe sounds nice. Zoë is watering the shrubbery and humming a tune.

I am here just taking it all in and for the moment, at least, things are really good.IMG_7286

Lately I’ve been thinking about how many things I’ve missed in pursuit of a career and success. I am successful by most standards and yet, I sometimes feel regret that perhaps I set aside what is important to get to this place. I love my job and the school that I’ve been trusted with. But sometimes I wonder, what if?

Ultimately, the what ifs don’t matter much anymore. I can’t go back.

I can go forward, but this year there have been a lot of fellows my age just drop dead, heart stopped, dead, gone. And while I hope that isn’t my fate at this age, I am not guaranteed tomorrow. So that leaves me with today. Right now. Live in the moment, because that’s really all I have.

Planning is necessary, absolutely. I just can’t put my eggs all in that basket.

I’m going to challenge myself and you who are reading to spend time this week living in the moment. Looking around at what is happening NOW and see if it gives you any insight. I think it might.  Carry a journal or notebook with you this week and take some time each day to write about a moment in which you are fully engaged. I’d love to hear about it.

Distracted by the silliest things.

Published / by Tim / 1 Comment on Distracted by the silliest things.

I have another blog… I know… it’s kind of like a confession. Like I’m admitting to having a mistress. It’s true. I have another blog.

The blog is called A Bike in the Rain. I created it to chronicle my 30 Days of Biking exploits.

30 Days of Biking is simply a site that asks you to pledge to ride your bike every day for 30 days. It happens every April and it’s kind of fun… for more info on 30 Days of Biking or to pledge to ride goto

I really wanted to have A Bike in the Rain show up on it’s own page here at, but I just can’t figure out how to make that happen. And it’s not for lack of trying. I have been messing with plugins and widgets for several days and I haven’t been able to make this thing do what I want.

I have been completely distracted by that effort and I have been putting off the writing… Surprise, right?

I was thinking about how often I do that though. I let the silliest things distract me from what is truly important. I think some people would call it procrastination. I am starting to see it as a way to deal with fear. I put things off because I am afraid about how those things will turn out. It seems many of us do that. It’s easier to be distracted and not think of the work at hand that to face the dread that we have for the outcome of the work at hand.

E-mail used to be my biggest distractor, now it think it might be my phone. I am always amazed at how many things my phone can do. It is so much more powerful than my very first “real” computer. and it was 1/8th the price and it’s 1/100th the size. It’s 1000 times more powerful too. and with all that power and convenience comes hundreds and thousands of APPS. Apps are the bane of my existence. They are so easy to get and so enticing and many are so addictive.

I never played “Candy Crush” because I knew I would just sit there and crush candy until my eyes were bugging out of my head. It would have been horrible. Instead I play a completely pointless war game. When I say pointless, I mean, I have no idea what the intended outcome even is. It’s dumb. But I do it, to avoid other things.

I put off the important work by letting myself be distracted by the silly stuff. It is one thing I know I need to change in order to improve my well being.

Do you ever find yourself being willingly distracted? What distracts you? Is your life better for the distraction, or are you missing out on greater things due to the distraction?

If you aren’t distracted at all, may I invite you to follow A Bike in the Rain for the 30 days of April? It’s nice to have a willing audience.


Always Asking Questions?

Published / by Tim / 1 Comment on Always Asking Questions?

Why is it that we so often have questions bopping around in our heads and yet we fail to ask them?

I’m guilty of this. I will be talking to someone or listening to my wife,  a speaker, my boss, a colleague or a friend and I’ll have all these questions come up. I let the questions tumble around in the thinkbox and then I forget them.

Every once in a while, the question is so important to me that my body even reacts. My heart quickens, my palms sweat, the blood thrums in my ears… it’s like a signal from my unconscious self to ask, to speak up. And I ignore it.

It seems that most of the time we don’t ask the questions out of fear.  Fear manifests in many ways but I can identify the following three in my experience.

I don’t want to look dumb. I want to appear competent.

I don’t want to feel humiliated. I want to feel worthy.

I don’t want to change. I want to maintain stability.

This week I’ll take a little time to talk about each of these three fears. I invite your questions. Yes, there will be a couple more posts than usual.

See you soon.