Monthly Archives: May 2015

Wandering in the world…

Published / by Tim / 4 Comments on Wandering in the world…

So, if you have been following this blog at all, you have probably guessed that it is a huge experiment and exercise in… something… for me. Faith? Perseverance? Courage? I don’t know…

What I do know is that for the last two weeks I have been trying to make the blog fit my life and it has been resistant. I have been dealing with issues of trust and friendship and I wanted to write about those things, but they were too… personal… too…raw… too… private.

What I have discovered about blogging is that blogging people fit in to one of two categories (well… there are probably more categories, but I only think I want to talk about two…) There are the “I will tell you everything about me” bloggers and the “I have something I want to say, but I want to remain kind of private too…” bloggers. I am one of the latter.

I have things I want to talk about, but at the same time I don’t necessarily want everyone to know every little thing about me. There have been many times that I have actually wanted to completely unplug and just not have a presence online. But then I think about the blogs I read and I  imagine that some of the folks I read regularly have felt the same way. Then they write, share and connect and it is all very beneficial to everyone.

Sometimes the fact that I have a blog and my own little “web space” kind of freaks me out. What am I thinking? What do I have to offer? Who do I think I am putting stuff out there for people to read? Well… the answer is, I’m just a guy who likes to talk and think and read and share. So it seems like writing for my little no-name blog is reasonable. Even if Brenda, Amy, Nancy, Renee, Apreil, and Luann are the only ones reading, it’s still worth while. The act of writing is… healthy, beneficial, cathartic.

I feel like a wanderer who has wandered far from home. This blog has proven itself both inspiring to me and lonely. I missed my Monday deadline for the first time this week. No one said anything. Initially I figured, what’s the point? Why bother? I soon remembered that when I started this blog, I am writing for me. I invited everyone else to come along and read, comment, or whatever.

I am back. I am not going to write about trust because I don’t really have anything to say about it now. I have issues trusting people, that’s it. It’s not because they are’;t worthy of trust, but because I am cynical and jaded for now. I suppose I could explore that a bit, but I don’t really want to. I just want to keep wandering and looking for the gems that appeal to me to consider here.

If you want to participate, I love hearing from you… if you just want to read and be silent, that’s fine too. I’m still here. I haven’t given up. I just needed to remember why I started doing this in the first place… It’s for the fun of writing and sharing.

On that note, if you have something you would like to write and share, let me know. I’d be glad to let you post here… It’s not a high pressure place… The people who are reading regularly are really quite wonderful. I’d love to have guests post if you have something to say…

Who we are.

Published / by Tim / 3 Comments on Who we are.

What defines you?

Is it your job? Your family? Your career? Your degrees? Your bank account? Your network?

I used to think it was these things that define me. I imagined that when people looked at me, they saw these other things.

I  no longer think that is true. I believe that the people who see me at all, see me for who I am in relationship to them. Husband. Father. Friend. Boss. These are all titles but underlying each title is a relationship.

I don’t actually think anyone cares about my degrees, or my network or any of those things that I once thought defined who I was in the world. It seems people care that I know them and that I can be trusted with who the are. I think if I were to violate that trust, it would also work to define me.

I believe that we best known by how we treat people not by what we have or have accomplished.

Who we are is defined by how we can be trusted. Everything we think, say and do with each other stems from trust. Influence comes from trust. Responsibility comes from trust. Relationships grow with trust.

We are creatures that thrive in environments of trust but do we act that way?

Who we are is defined by our willingness to trust and to be trustworthy.

This week I’ll be looking at trust in a few posts. Stay tuned.

The Monday that just wouldn’t.

Published / by Tim / 1 Comment on The Monday that just wouldn’t.

I have been thinking about this blog post all week. It just isn’t materializing. Well, let’s say that it has materialized multiple times, but my internal editorial review mechanism isn’t allowing any of what has materialized to become a post.

Draft 1. Too critical and negative.

Draft 2. I would like some cheese with the whine.

Draft 3. Lacking direction and focus.

Draft 4. The revision was worse than draft 3.

Draft 5. Self righteous.

Draft 6. Self-indulgent.

Draft 7. Sanctimonious

Draft 8. Is this one right here…

Yeah, this post is going nowhere, or so it seems.

Ever feel like that in life? Where you wake up with the best intentions and by the time you walk in the door at work you know that the day is off to a rocky start? What do you do then? My temptation with this post was to simply say, “Yeah, I’m not writing anything. So there.” But who does that hurt?

Not doing something because it is difficult is no way to live. There is always something to learn. Sometimes it seems that life makes us work for every inch of progress. That’s ok though. During the great american gold rush, thousands of would be millionaires set out in search of fortune. The fortune came easy for some, they got lucky.  There was, however, a vast majority who struck it rich who had to work hard, dig deep, chip away at every boulder in the way in order to find the gold.

Writing this blog, and perhaps writing in general is like that. For some it seems easy. but for most of us, it’s hard. It takes showing up. It takes patience, fortitude, perseverance and the willingness to show up again and again.

Well, I showed up. The ideas showed up too. Now if we could just get on the same page, everything will be hunky-dory. If you are feeling like things are on a dead-end road, look a little closer. What’s standing between you and the gold? Go after it. Don’t stop. Some days will be blah but eventually you will strike a rich vein and it will make the plodding days worth while.

Keep going!

Stellar Connections

Published / by Tim

My dad was born in May, 1942 and died in January, 2007. He died relatively young and I have been thinking about him quite a bit the last few weeks. Who really knows why? I figured I’d take a moment and share something I wrote in his honor and in an attempt to describe how and why I am interested in stars constellations and other points of light…

I look forward to clear spring evenings. It is on these lovely evenings that I often go out a look up into the night sky. I have a deep-seated attraction for all things stellar. I never wanted to be an astronaut, but looking through a telescope makes me feel happy. The universe is amazing in its expansiveness, but it’s also lovely.

I think my father, despite his shortcomings, saw this interest within me before anyone else did. I have a few vivid memories of dad, and most of them involve being outside on a clear night and looking up. I think that is one thing I could attribute to my dad… he encouraged me to look up. He modeled being a dreamer and as such, encouraged me to have my “head in the clouds”. I think I have done a good job of that. I dream even when I am awake.

It often amazes me that the universe provides us with direction, location and the security of being able to determine where we are at any given moment. No tools, no apps, no gizmos… just eyes and a clear sky. the universe contains all the information we need to know exactly where we are at any time based on the position of the stars. I also think of stars like windows to another place. Rigel is my father’s star.

Rigel is the bright star that is on the heel of the Orion constellation. It is a very bright star. It is blueish white and is one of the first stars that can be seen in the constellation on a bright night. I attributed it to my dad in order that when I am looking up I always have something reminding me of him in the night sky.

I’ve learned just a bit about stars and constellations. I am no astronomer. My motivation has been to create a metaphysical connection to the people I love, over distances and through time. The thing about stars is, they don’t fade. They are constant and predictable. They are unlike any other object in the universe. They are beautiful. They are where my heart goes when I feel lonely, because in the stars I can feel a connection to the ones I love, no matter where I might be.

My dad liked the stars. I remember that about him. On a cold night on the roof of the hospital… he’d point out bright points… just for the love of light.