It’s been one month… and a little.

Facebook is a sham.

I’m pretty sure I could never post there again and I would not be missed in that space. It’s just too noisy. I’m not feeling sorry for myself here, I am being a realist. Facebook is like walking into a crowded cafeteria and announcing what you are eating, or like walking into a mall and showing anyone who walks by a picture of your grandchildren.

I used to think having 1000+ friends was cool. It’s not.

When I was interacting with people on Facebook, I kept some data for the last couple of months. I was regularly (more than 3 times in a week) interacting with 17 people out of 182 “friends”. Since I have left Facebook, I have personally spoken to, written to, eaten a meal with,  or found another place to chat online, with ALL of those 17 people.

The thing is, I have enjoyed the conversations more.  Granted, It’s much harder to have a relationship with someone face to face but that difficulty adds to the value of the friendship. Making the effort makes the time spent together more special, more interesting.

I often said I was on Facebook to keep up with my family. I never did that prior to Facebook. I was only kidding myself if I thought my relationship with my family improved because of Facebook. Some of my family members were so annoyed by the junk in my timeline that they HID my timeline… That is not a positive interaction. Family has my address, my phone number, my e-mail and they are all literate. We did fine with cards and such prior to the Facebook invasion.

I have spent time reconnecting with several of the people I believe are my real friends, and I will be reacquainting myself with people and remembering why we were friends before the Facebook made a recommendation that we click the button. On the flip side, some of the Facebook pseudofriends will never be heard from again. That is ok too.

We don’t need 1000+ friends to be happy. In the real world, that is unrealistic. 10 – 20 real friends is a lot to manage and spend time cultivating. But the rewards of cultivating those real friendships far outweighs the numbers game that is Facebook.

Facebook is a nice tool for getting information out to groups of people easily, but let’s not fool ourselves, most of our Facebook “friends” barely know us at all. I’m not sure I can be a friend to someone I wouldn’t know what to talk about with if we were face to face.

What do you think?  Add to the conversation in the comments.

4 thoughts on “It’s been one month… and a little.

  1. Amy

    Crowded cafeteria – good analogy. And you’re right, there’s a finite amount of time to divide between friends. What would be super convenient is if all one’s friends were in the same social circle so the time spent with each would overlap a bit. I suppose that would bring its own set of problems.

    1. Tim Post author

      So, in some ways I agree with you Amy, but at the same time, I like my diverse group. All in the same social circle seems like it might get to be a little bit cultish… Groupthink. no new ideas…

      1. Amy

        I said “convenient”, not “best” 😉 It’s an interesting tension, isn’t it? There are so many lovely people in the world, but you can only be friends with a few.

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